When a trail map doesn't succeed, try following a labrador!
Back in my horse show days, the joke used to be that a good equitation horse had a disc drive in its withers (that's the place where the neck meets the back, for you non-horsey types). The rider could slide a pre-programed disc into said drive and the horse would automatically perform a complicated pattern flawlessly.
The truth, of course, was that the horses - such as my friend Kim's Genesis Kadence, Susie's Take Notice or my Binty - were so well trained and tuned in to their riders that they would respond to the slightest touch or shift in weight. It was actually a lot of work on both parties' parts, but horse and rider worked together so well that they made it look seamless.
Well, if Binty had a disc drive, than - no joke - Jack has GPS.
Today, I decided to do my five-mile walk in one of my favorite spots: the Garden of the Gods. Last Wednesday, we did the same thing, parking at a little turnoff along the road, walking a mile along a mountain-side pass to the tourist trap path of the garden, doing three miles there and walking the mile back to the car. No big deal and a well planned pathway.
This week, I decided to vary that a little bit. I had my trail map, my camelpack, some water and a bowl for the dog, and lots of sunshine, so I was feeling good. Besides, it's only 450 acres of park, of which gigantic rocks and paved roadways take up about a quarter, so how lost can you get, right?
Wrong.
Here's the deal: The trail maps for the Garden of the Gods are completely inadequate. They only represent about a quarter of the actual trails, and the descriptions are completely wrong. The trail that I wanted to take is labeled the Chambers/Bretag/Palmer trail and is described thusly: "Challenging 3 mile trial originating from the South parking lot. This rocky trail nearly circles the entire park and provides excellent views of many of the park's rocks."
This is how I would describe it: Chambers/Bretag/Palmer/Ute/Lower Reservoir/ Where the F**k AM I Trail. "Challenging 4 1/2 - 7 miles (depending on how lost you get) trail that wanders all over the park, gives you sweeping views of the most remote areas of the park, sometimes has you inappropriately treading on neighbor's property and changes names without any prior warning or signage. Breathtaking vistas, complete confusion, dress in layers and be prepared for the possibility of rattle snakes because nobody else is around."
Clearly, I got lost.
I somehow found the way back to the road (although I still don't know which stretch) and to the winding, weird path known, inexplicably, as the Buckskin Charlie Trail. It, equally inexplicably, merges with the Scotsman Trail and wraps around in a gigantic loop. According to the woefully inadequate trail map I had now crumpled up and stuck in my pocket in a disoriented rage, it should have merged with the trail I was originally on. Note I said "should have."
Then the most amazing thing happened: As I was standing at yet another fork in the road, wondering where I should be going now, Jack did something he never does.
He took control of the situation.
With dogged determination (pun intended) he looked at me, looked down both branches of the trail, and headed down one. I had no better idea where we were going so I just let him lead.
Which he did. For 2 1/2 miles.
After winding around for about 5,500 steps, watching my dog's haunches disappear around the next bend and grateful that he was still tethered to me, I emerged next to the roadway (this one I recognized) where he dutifully was sitting. The truck was bout 500 feet away.
So the moral of this long story is this: If you're ever lost, screw asking the confused tourists for directions (they're more befuddled than you are). Instead, just ask a lab.